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I cuss, you cuss, we all cuss for asparagus.

Over the last few years, asparagus has become one of my favorite vegetables.  I planted it in my garden this year in hopes of having home-grown asparagus in the years to come.  Good things come to those who wait, and in this case, the wait will be two years before we get a really good crop.

Anyway, I decided to share ten thoughts about this young sprout of a vegetable that shoots out of the ground and into our hearts.

  • I have become the laziest asparagus cook in the world.  I wash a handful of stalks, cut off the bottoms, and set them in a microwavable dish with a small splash of water.  Then I unceremoniously put it in the microwave for four minutes until they are still a little crunchy.  I put butter and lemon on top.  Delicious!  I’ve tried pan-frying them with oil and garlic, roasted on the grill, and carefully steaming them.  However, this lazy way gets me to asparagussy goodness asap.  Don’t judge.
  • I eat them with my fingers.  Is that wrong?  I saw something about asparagus manners somewhere that said it’s ok.  In my opinion, they are the French fries of the green veggie world.  Buttery, unique green veggie fries.  My daughter eats them that way too.
  • Speaking of the wonderful daughter, one stalk of asparagus is one gram of carbohydrates.  For the parents of a diabetic, that is super convenient!  Thanks asparagus for being user friendly!
  • Asparagus is from the lilly family…lilies are my favorite flowers…coincidence?
  • In full grown asparagus, the berries they produce are poisonous.  Which always leads me to wonder, how did people first discover what was OK to eat, and what was not?  For example, tapioca comes from cassava roots.  You cannot eat the cassava leaves or stems.  They contain cyanide!  How did someone first discover these things?

“Hey Karl, remember those shoots we ate in the spring?  Now the plants have berries!  Want some?”

“Sure, Bob!  They look delicious!”

Karl eats asparagus berries.

“Why Bob?  WHHHHYYYYYY?”

Karl dies.  Bob learns valuable culinary lesson.

  • I have never tried white asparagus.  Have any of you?  Seems like a cruel trick to a plant.  Hey, you’re reaching for the sun!  Good for you!  NOW I COVER YOU IN DIRT TO TAKE AWAY YOUR CLOROPHYL!!  I THINK YOU TASTE BETTER!!
  • Of course, asparagus is famous for its lingering odor several hours after consumption.  You know what I mean.  I think it is a testament to its goodness that people put up with that.
  • By the way, weren’t the first people who tried asparagus even MILDLY concerned with these urinary consequences?  I would have sought my local ancient health care professional.
  • Hart, Michigan holds the National Asparagus Festival!  I would like to go there!  http://www.nationalasparagusfestival.org/
  • Finally, one of my all time favorite Far Side Cartoons is below…I miss that comic.

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So, with all that in mind, how do you feel about asparagus?  Do you like it?  Any cooking methods or recipes to share?  Etiquette?  What about white asparagus?  Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

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