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An Open Letter to St. Louis

24 Tuesday Jun 2014

Posted by stloueats in Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Arch, Cardinals, Forest Park, Gooey Butter Cake, Imo's, India Palace, maull's, Missouri Botanical Gardens, Pastaria, pork steak, Provel, Restaurants, Science Center, St. Louis, St. Louis Symphony, Zoo

Dear St. Louis,

I’m leaving you.  Again.  We’ve been through this before, but this time it’s different.  Last time, I couldn’t wait to leave you, and swore I’d never return.  This time, you made it so hard to leave that the mere thought of leaving you was one of our top reasons we thought we’d stay.  Last time I left you, I was young and alone.  This time, I’m twice as old, and have been blessed with a wife and wonderful children.  Last time I thought I’d never be back.  This time, we swear we will return*.

*My son said in the car the other day out of the blue, “I think I’ll live in Missouri again someday.”

Regardless, we are leaving for Las Vegas again.  They made an offer we couldn’t refuse.  It is with a heavy heart we pack, we visit places we love for the last time, and say goodbye to many friends and family here.  But I suppose the fact that it’s hard this time means that it has been good.  And so with that, I’d like to say thank you and tell you why you’ve come to mean so much to our family.

Thank you, the Arch.  I think I’m starting here not because you’re my favorite thing about St. Louis (you’re not), but because of the history you represent and the opportunities you’ve given my family over the last few years.  You’re still visibly stunning, and I think you’ll only get better with your renovation connecting you with the rest of the city.  My seven year old son REALLY LOVES YOU and wants to visit you all the time, and I’m sorry I didn’t visit you as often as he would have liked.  Finally, I am looking forward to telling people it’s the ARCH not the St. Louis Arc…no joke, I’ve heard this more than once, and I will be more forceful in correcting these ignoramuses in the future.

Thank you, Missouri Botanical Gardens.  You are my favorite.  We have visited you so often through the years, and even joined you as a member for the last several years.  Heck, we visited you today for the last time.  We’ve LOVED the Chihuly glass exhibit, the Lantern Festival, the Christmas lights, and just regular afternoons strolling your beautiful grounds.  We’ve fed the koi, watched the bullfrogs in the Chinese Garden, and the geckos in the Climatron.  We’ve sampled the Best of Missouri Market, handled the hordes at the Japanese Festival, gotten lost in the maze, toured the Tower Grove house, and taken the Tram tour enough that I’m fairly positive I could give the tour.  But mostly, we loved the regular days where we stroll through the English Country Garden, and watch our kids race leaves that they place in the stream that runs through it.  My wife loves the irises that bloom in May, and I love the day lilies that are blooming as I write this.  I truly think it’s the best attraction in St. Louis and has something different every time you visit.

Thank you, Forest Park.  You are amazing.  The view from the top of Art Hill when the fountains are going below are spectacular.  But really it’s what’s inside you that counts.  The Zoo, Art Museum, History Museum, and Science Center.  With that said, here’s a mini message for each of you.  Thanks St. Louis Zoo, for the numerous days we’ve spent gawking at your spectacular creatures.  From the terrible tarantulas in the insectarium to the hilarious hippo habitat, you’ve entertained my family many times through the years.  I LOVE that you’re free.  However, sometimes your crowds make me hate you just a bit.  Also, until this weekend we’d never seen that sneaky cheetah…until this Sunday he appeared.  That was awesome.  Thanks, the Art Museum for letting people see some of the world’s greatest paintings for  once again, FREE.  I love your collection of George Caleb Bingham works showcasing Missouri in the 1800s.  More people should visit you.  Thanks, Missouri History Museum.  I feel like I should have used you more.  Thanks, the Science Center for both terrifying and thrilling my children.  Both my children had trouble with the T-Rex when they were younger (that poor triceratops has been waiting to be put out of his misery for years now), but have enjoyed your various exhibits as they have grown.  Hey, did I thank you for being free?  Overall, I’d like to thank the people of St. Louis City and County for subsidizing our visits through the years.  They voted in 1969 to have a portion of their property tax support these great institutions.  There is NO WAY such a thing would pass today, but man, it sure makes St. Louis a GREAT place to have kids.

Thank you, unique food.  St. Louis, you don’t get the credit you deserve.  You’ve got some great signature foods going for you.  Thanks Pork steaks, for being a super cheap, super delicious slab of meat to feed a crowd with.  Give me some Maull’s Sweet n Mild, a cold beer, and you’ve made my weekend.  Thanks, Gooey Butter Cake.  It’s pretty obvious why you’re good, and Tina from church makes it best.  Thanks, Provel cheese.  Don’t let the haters hate.  “It’s a processed cheese.  It’s too rubbery.  It tastes weird.”  They’re all just jealous.  Your rope goodness is perfect on salads, no one can touch you.  A St. Louis style Italian salad with Provel CANNOT be beat.  Our friend Tracy makes the ultimate salad with Zia’s dressing.  I could eat it all day long.  We are going to miss St. Louis style pizza.  My wonderful wife recently had an opportunity to photograph THE Imo family, and they were so kind and friendly.  It makes me feel even better about supporting a local product.  Here are my top five reasons St. Louis style pizza is fantastic.

1.  The small square pieces mean you can eat innumerable pieces before being full.  If I counted them, there are many times I’d be ashamed (maybe a little proud?) of what I’ve done.

2.  You can fold said squares into mini pizza sandwiches.  Delightful!

3.  You really taste the toppings, and not a mouthful of dough.

4.  The small pieces are easy to handle.

5.  It is NOT Chicago style pizza.  I do not want a giant dough blob with the cheese under a pile of greasy toppings that takes a thousand years to bake.  Boo.

Thank you, beer.  First off, although none of us were fans of the Belgians taking over AB, the side result of that has been some wonderful microbreweries starting up in the St. Louis area.  I’d especially like to thank Schlafly Kolsh and Urban Chestnut Zwickel for quenching my spring and summertime thirst.  Schlafly Pumpkin Ale for easing me through fall, and a wide variety of beers from O’Fallon, Schlafly, and Urban Chestnut for seeing me through the winters.  O’Fallon, bring back your Wee Heavy!  It was AMAZING.  Finally, Thank you, AB.  Your brewery tour is great.  It makes the Miller tour look like some guys threw a brewery together over a weekend.  Beautiful flowers, Clydesdales, stained glass, a spotless factory, and free beer make for a happy local and tourist alike.  Also, Grant’s Farm is quite possibly the best idea ever.  A ZOO WITH FREE BEER.  “Hey kids, here’s a dollar.  Go defend yourself against hungry baby goats.  Daddy’s going to have a beer then watch a ginormous African Elephant blow up a ballon, play a harmonica, and spray children with water.”  Presidents.  Mini-safari.  Ravenous goats.  Entertaining elephants.  Free beer.  Oh, AND GIANT HORSES.  It is the American dream in miniature.

Thank you, the arts.  First off, I’d like to thank the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra for offering dozens of memorable date nights for the lovely wife and I.  We have subscribed the last few years, and your programming has taken us through time and around the world through music.  I love the symphony because it gives me about 90 minutes of time to stop, listen, and think without distraction.  We will truly miss you.

The Fabulous Fox Theatre is stunning, and we’ve seen some great shows through the years.  I got a wow out of my daughter the first time I took her this year to see Alton Brown.  Finally, we JUST saw Circus Flora for the first time.  I’m sorry I’m such a fool for not visiting you sooner.

I’d like to thank the many restaurants that have enriched our daily experiences and broadened our children’s horizons.  There are a few of you I’d like to mention.  Thank you, The Bridge, for being so unique and fun.  Some of our favorite evenings out have either began or ended in your balcony seating.  I could eat your foccacia bread with assorted cheeses forever.  Thank you, Pastaria for being so good that my 10 year old daughter would choose to have her birthday dinner in your restaurant…who am I to argue with her on that?  Finally, I’d like to thank India Palace.  I still think you are one of the gems of the area.  If I said, “Hey, I’ve got an idea.  Let’s start a restaurant with a mildly intimidating ethnic cuisine.  Then let’s put it at the top floor of a slightly run down hotel that you need to take a vaguely marked elevator to get to.  Oh yeah, let’s make it hard to get to, with no obvious road access, even though you can see it from a major highway.  Oh, the restaurant used to have some Polynesian Tiki Bar theme?  KEEP IT!”  If I came up with that plan, I would fail.  Yet, you somehow manage to not just survive, but thrive.  It is the best buffet I’ve ever had.  I would eat it every day.  You have been wonderful to my kids.  They absolutely love it.  I have yet to go when you have charged me full price for both of them.  Thank you.

There are many more restaurants out there that we love, and I don’t want to leave anyone out, so I’d just like to say, GREAT JOB.  The food in St. Louis has gotten so much better the last nine years, and I think it’s only going to improve in the years to come.

Thank you, the Cardinals.  I will always be a baseball fan first, but you have worked your way into my whole family’s hearts.  Cards games are clean and I’ve never had to explain something bad to my kids later on.  The games are still (relatively) affordable, and the product is fantastic.  I try to explain that the Cardinals are to St. Louis what the Packers are to Green Bay.  It’s the closest thing I can compare it to.  We recently went to the new museum in Ballpark Village.  It brought me to tears.  The kids loved it.  Heck, I got to HOLD Stan Musial and Willie McGee’s bat.  You are a class act and we will continue to love you from afar.  We’ll always have 2006 and 2011!

And then there are the Rams and Blues.  Blues, keep trying hard, you can do it!  I wish I could take my kids to your games, but the things I’ve heard there may melt their delicate ears.  Rams, I like football, I’m just not sure if you guys like football.  It seems like you struggle with it.

Finally, I’d like to thank our family, friends, students, parents, and church members for enriching our lives so much since 2005.  You are truly what will keep us coming back.

Sincerely,

Jason, Sarah, Katie, and Brendan Crowder

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I Like Big Butts…

20 Thursday Sep 2012

Posted by stloueats in favorite foods

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

boston butt, food, maull's, pork, pork butt, pork steak, St. Louis

I cannot lie…

You other brothers can’t deny…

THAT PORK BUTT IS FANTASTIC.

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I have been lightly snacking on smoked pulled pork all week long.  Last weekend our school celebrated its 150th anniversary.  For the event, one of our parents smoked an enormous amount of pork butt that was made into pulled pork to serve at the event.  When I had it there, it was fantastic.

Even though we had about 300 people at school for the anniversary, we still had a huge amount of pork left over.  On Monday, I took a nibble of some leftovers.

On Wendesday, I had a full plate of pork with some bbq sauce.

Last night, we took the leftovers to Music on Main in St. Charles, added bbq sauce, and sold pulled pork sandwiches.

There were still leftovers.  So I took a bag of pork home last night.

Tonight, the talented daughter had a volleyball game in North St. Louis County (She’s quite the volleyball player, considering she’s in 3rd grade).  We got home tonight at about 6 o’clock and needed to have dinner.  What to do?

Pork butt to the rescue.

I took the bag of pulled pork, added a half cup of water, put it on the stove, and heated it on medium for about 15 minutes.

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Then I added a dash of salt, chili powder, and cumin.

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Finally I stirred it all up with the juices.

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Behold!  Pork tacos for dinner.

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Everyone loved it.

The lesson here?  Pork butts are amazing.  So, without further ado, I give you 10 thoughts on pork butt.

1.  Did you know that the pork butt is not the butt at all?  It’s actually on the front shoulder of the hog.  The back of a hog is the ham.  Actually, I prefer pork butt to ham nearly any day.

2.  Pork butt is also known as pork shoulder, Boston butt, picnic shoulder, shoulder blade roast, and Boston roast.

3.  Pork butt is used in Carnitas, the oh so tasty Mexican meat that is fried in lard and served with tortillas.  Real carnitas are a treat, but I make a pretty tasty crock-pot version.

4.  Did you know your pork is just acceptable?  Unlike beef, the government does not really judge pork.  Beef is graded as being one of eight levels, however, we are most used to seeing USDA Select, Choice, and Prime beef.  Those are all nice names.  Pork is not judged in the same manner.  There is just “acceptable” pork and “utility” pork.  I say give pork a better grading system…say, “delectable” and “detestable” (Taking a page from the Old Testament…which had a few things to say about pork).

5.  St. Louis takes pork seriously.  Texas has its beef brisket, Kansas City has its burnt ends, Memphis has its ribs.  We have a cut of ribs named after our fine town (which is better than baby back).  But since this is about pork butt, I have to mention that St. Louis staple, the pork steak.  My in-laws from Michigan hadn’t had it, and other people look at you funny when you describe it.  A pork steak is a steak sliced from the pork butt.  You grill them then dip them into a pan full of bbq sauce and beer.  It’s not really barbecuing, but rather grilling.  A well grilled pork steak is a wonderful thing.

6.  Pork butt and pork steaks are cheap!  I fed 45 people last year for $20 of meat.  Ron Swanson would be proud.  Honestly, I love the fact that you can get a tasty cut of meat for less than $2 a pound.

7.  Maull’s BBQ sauce is a St. Louis treat.  Frankly, it is the pork steak’s partner in crime.  The Louis Maull company started selling barbecue sauce in 1926, and is THE traditional way to serve a pork steak.  I like Original and Sweet-and-Mild sauce, but they offer many other varieties.

8.  A little more about Maull’s.  I love their slogan, “Don’t baste your barbecue, MAULL IT.”  It’s so violent.  Hey, you’re already eating a butchered animal and are roasting it over FIRE.  NOW SHOW IT WHO’S THE BOSS!  MAULL THAT MEAT!  To maul something is to “injure by a rough beating, shoving, or the like.”  Yes, that is what I would like to do my pork.  It had it coming for being so plump and juicy.  Also, in case you are curious, Britney Spears appeared in a Maull’s commercial, back when she was still that innocent…oops, I did it again…I used a bad pun.

9.  Now I said that I would use this blog to promote St. Louis as being a nice place, and not Scarymurderville.  But this is just too good to pass up…Apparently last week two gentlemen had an argument about whether they were cooking pork chops or pork steaks.  One man claimed pork chops, the other man claimed pork steaks (he was correct)…things did not go well…read the link HERE.

Do we take our pork steaks seriously here?

Yes.  Yes we do.

10.  Finally, on a lighter note, I love pig on the plate, but I also like pigs on the big screen.  I can watch Babe and Charlotte’s Web repeatedly.  It is highly unmanly.  But, I will say this.  I would eat Wilbur in a second.  Honestly, what can he really do?  Babe on the other hand, is handy around the farm.  He may live.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

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